News from an Alternate Universe

Posted By on September 29, 2003 at 10:02 am

John Derbyshire looks at news reports from an alternate reality in which the War on Terrorism was actually being prosecuted as an actual war:

Berlin, Germany; Sept. 20. German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder has formally protested the Defense Department’s “scorched earth” policy in evacuating U.S. bases from German soil. The evacuations were, the chancellor asserted, carried out “in too much haste,” adversely affecting the economies of local communities. He also claimed that the dismantling of the bases had been “too thorough,” and “destructive.” The chancellor especially objected to the policy of plowing over the sites of the bases and sowing the ground with salt. Asked for a response to Chancellor Schroeder’s remarks, Defense Secretary Colonel David Hunt said: “Bite me, Adolf.”

Heh.
There’s plenty more. Read the whole thing.

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