Posted By Russ on March 29, 2011 at 8:02 am
As the 49th anniversary of my having shuffled onto this mortal coil approaches — all too rapidly — I was recently thinking about some of the things I have done, or not done, in my 30+ years of being an adult.
- I’ve been a soldier, a student, a clerk, an engineer, a writer, and one or two other things.
- I’ve jumped out of a helicopter in flight, into a pitch-black night, without being able to see the ground.
- I’ve broken up a bar brawl, by picking up and carrying combatants out of the fight.
- I’ve prevented a bar brawl, merely by being bigger than everyone else in the room.
- I’ve ridden horses… and been thrown from a horse.
- I’ve met more than one of my personal heroes, including a recipient of the Medal of Honor.
- I’ve watched a firefight.
- I’ve won a drinking contest.
- I’ve broken numerous small bones — wrist, foot, thumb.
- I’ve had frostbite.
- I’ve been a groomsman.
- I’ve been an extra in a movie.
- I’ve been to a toga party.
- I’ve participated in a “Chinese fire drill” — in traffic.
- I’ve written a computer program.
- I’ve driven across the entire continental US.
- I’ve flown an airplane.
- I’ve crashed a car.
- I’ve cooked a complete meal for a woman I cared for.
- I’ve stayed awake for four days straight.
- I’ve sung for an audience.
On the other hand…
- I’ve never ridden a motorcycle.
- I’ve never been to Europe.
- I’ve never taken a girl to a drive-in movie.
- I’ve never fired a shot in anger.
- I’ve never invented anything.
- I’ve never been ballroom dancing.
- I’ve never gambled in a casino.
- I’ve never sailed a boat.
- I’ve never seen Gone With The Wind.
- I’ve never changed a diaper.
- I’ve never owned or learned to play a musical instrument.
- I’ve never hitchhiked.
- I’ve never broken a long bone — arm or leg.
- I’ve never been on a cruise.
- I’ve never been to Mardi Gras.
- I’ve never thrown a punch.
- I’ve never been married nor had kids.
- I’ve never been called for jury duty.
- I’ve never had my taxes audited.
Oops, I spoke too soon on that last one. I just got the audit notice yesterday.
My life may not be complete, but I can check off that particular box. Good thing I keep records.