Thus Spake Russ

Posted By Russ Emerson on November 10, 2004 at 7:16 am

Attempting to stanch the flow of blood from the 1,000 cuts received last week, the Democrats apply a tourniquet… to their party’s neck.
The lack of oxygen to their collective brain shows more than usual.
^{[All emphasis in the quoted text is mine.]}

Democrats Vow to Hold Bush Accountable

From the Washington Post… so you know it has to be good. Well, it’s not the NY Times, so at least it’s got that going for it.
[Actually, this does indeed look like a straightforward piece of reportage. Now that the election is over, the WaPo can afford to be magnanimous in defeat.]

Congressional Democrats returned to Washington in a defiant mood yesterday, making no apologies for the campaign in which they lost congressional seats and the presidential race and vowing to hold President Bush accountable for his handling of the deficit, the Iraq war and other issues.

We the people already held President Bush accountable once this month. Last week’s election must be such a painful memory that it’s already been buried in their subconscious.
In years hence, there will undoubtedly be “recovered memory” psychotherapists of dubious reputation holding up little donkey-shaped dolls to traumatized Democrats and asking “where did the nasty Republicans touch you?”
Hint: it wasn’t a touch, it was a kick… you know where.

In his first public comments since conceding defeat to Bush, Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) did not rule out a bid in 2008 and promised to keep pushing the issues he championed this year.

Issues like personal aggrandizement, good hair, lying about his opponents’ records, Botox-abuse, cussing at underlings, stabbing our military in the back…. You know — the usual.

“Let me tell you one thing that I want to make clear,” Kerry said in a brief meeting with reporters in the Capitol. “Fifty-four-plus-million Americans voted for health care, they voted for energy independence, they voted for unity in America, they voted for stem cell research, they voted for protecting Social Security.

At least he knows they weren’t voting for him.

“We need to be unified, and we have a very clear agenda. And I’m going to be fighting for that agenda with all of the energy that I have and all the passion I brought to the campaign.”

Mr. Passion. Oh. Yeah. I know everyone was excited by his [**yawn**] passion.
Maybe a guy who’s had his prostate, er, “dealt with” ought not to be touting his ability to generate, er, “passion.” On the other hand, that might explain Teh-ray-zah’s odd behavior of late.

Asked about his brother Cameron’s comment, published in yesterday’s Boston Globe, that it was “conceivable” Kerry would run for president again, the senator quipped: “I was intrigued by it. I called him up and said, ‘Where did you get that?’ ” He added: “It’s inconceivable to me that anybody is even talking about that stuff right now.”

Smart Democrats know that running Kerry again would sound the death-knell for their party. For better or for worse, the smart Democrats are outnumbered by about 50 to 1.

Returning to the Capitol, where he will resume serving his fourth Senate term, Kerry met with House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Sen. Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.), who will succeed Thomas A. Daschle (D-S.D.) as Senate minority leader.

Modern political giants, all. [You have no idea how hard it was to type that and keep a straight face.]
Oh, yes: adios, Tommy boy. I’ll bet there’s a dog-catcher job open on one of your state’s Indian reservations.

Pelosi, addressing reporters after lunching with about 100 House Democrats, said her party will speak out when it believes Bush and the GOP-controlled Congress are mismanaging Iraq, tax policies or the deficit.

They’ll also speak out when they believe the Republicans are mismanaging restaurant menus on the Left Bank, the life cycle of the cicada, the weather (in both the northern and southern hemispheres), the orbits of the planets, and the 2005 NFL football schedule.
Keep talking, Nancy. Every time you flap your gums, a coal miner in Pennsylvania asks himself “why is it that I vote for Democrats? Why are her people getting my vote?”

“The president won’t be able to blame anyone, because the Republicans have full control,” Pelosi said. Although Republicans have controlled the White House, Senate and House for two years, she said, “the American people did not know that. And now they do.”

“The American people did not know” the Republicans have been running things? Didn’t know? Note to Nancy: calling your potential supporters ignorant is one of the reasons they are only potential supporters instead of actual supporters.
The American people had their chance to blame the Republicans last week. Instead, the Donks had their asses handed to them.

Rep. Charles B. Rangel (D-N.Y.) rejected arguments that Republicans care more than Democrats do about traditional values. “We are the party of moral values,” he said.

Killing babies = moral. Taking half of a family’s assets when the breadwinner dies = moral. Taking half a person’s income before they ever see it in their bank account = moral. Keeping felons out of prison = moral. Right.

Cutting taxes “for the very rich” increases the deficit and forces spending cuts in education, health care and housing, he said. “And so throughout the next two years, you’re going to hear a lot [from Democrats] about moral values.”

The Laffer curve is just abstract geometry to the likes of Charlie Rangel.

Meanwhile, the Democrats’ post-election self-examination continued at a forum hosted by the centrist Democratic Leadership Council.

I wonder if they found a lump?

DLC founder Al From said the 2004 election continued a “40-year slide” for the party, interrupted only by the elections of Presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton.

Two lumps!

Democrats must close the security, reform and culture gaps, he said, adding: “You can’t have everybody who goes to church voting Republican.”

No, you can’t… except for the ones who take their religion seriously.

Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.), who won reelection, said Democrats must trust voters’ instincts and intelligence. “We can only lead people that we trust, and they’ll only follow if they trust us,” she said.

Then they’ll never lead. Elitists do not, cannot, trust the people. It’s against their nature. If they did, their entire platform of “we know what’s best for you better than you do” would collapse.

Some congressional Democrats also say the party needs to do more soul-searching, but most are lying low. Rep. Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md.), the party’s second-ranking House leader, did not join Pelosi, Rangel and others who addressed reporters. Hoyer “wants to think things through” but will not challenge Pelosi or surrender his post as party whip, said a source close to him.

I know little or nothing about Hoyer. Maybe he’s one of the smart and honest Democrats… which would make his rise to the position of Minority Whip [which, much to my surprise, is a floor wax and a dessert topping! – ed.] a truly miraculous occurrence.

Pelosi must choose a successor to Rep. Robert T. Matsui (Calif.) as chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Those interested include Reps. Mike Thompson (Calif.), Janice D. Schakowsy (Ill.) and Joseph Crowley (N.Y.), Capitol insiders said.

Who?

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