Masticate With Extreme Prejudice
Posted By Russ Emerson on October 15, 2007 at 7:34 am
On my return home from the hospital Thursday, a box from Amazon.com was waiting for me. Inside: Steve Graham’s latest literary endeavor, Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking.
Over the next few days, when I wasn’t busy sleeping off the effects of my medical misadventures, I was reading… reading, and laughing.
This is a terrific book. A translation of the cave-wall diary of caveman “Hal,” it details many aspects of his daily life and the society of five million years ago, give or take a week.
Hal tells of the problems faced by his contemporaries:
The main problem with early spearheads was, we still hadn’t discovered the fully detached stick.We had nothing to attach the spearhead to, so instead of a spearhead, it was more like… a head. If you wanted to kill a mammoth, you had to run up to him, hold the spearhead against him, and push. And while you were doing that, he would usually wrap his trunk around one of your ankles and use you as a flyswatter.
He also offers some wisdom which could only have been gained through experience:
Pretty much the only way to survive a velociraptor attack is to not be the slowest person in the area.
Hard to argue with that.
With chapters such as “Clothing: Sometimes Back Hair Just Isn’t Enough” or “Medicine: Trepanning And Ritual Mutilation For Dummies” there is going to be something everyone can relate to.
No, I have no personal reason for references to back hair and medical care. No reason at all.
For Steve’s sake, I hope the book does very well. I also hope the Geico advertising people have either a sense of humor or a completely gecko-centric view of copyright infringement.
My only criticism would be that the book seems a bit short — not unusual for humor. This is the sort of thing that you want to make last… but at the same time, you don’t want to put it down. Maybe I just read too quickly.
Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking gets my full endorsement.
Visit Steve’s websites, Hog on Ice and SteveHGraham.com.
Thanks, dude. May you never become a Tyrannosaurus dropping.