Four Cats
Posted By Russ Emerson on December 29, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Four men — an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist, and a Government Employee — were bragging about how smart their cats were.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.”
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart, but the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good, but the Chemist said his cat could do even better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.”
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good indeed.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?”
The Government Employee called his big fat cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
[Thanks, Mom.]
Three kids are playing at school when one says “My dad is the fastest dad in the world. He can run a mile in under 6 minutes.” The second kid says “My dad is faster than yours. He can run a mile in under 5 minutes”. The third kid says “You think that’s fast? My dad works for the government and he gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 2:30”.