Thus Spake Russ

Posted By Russ Emerson on November 26, 2010 at 2:36 pm

As something like an experiment, I’ve saved all the catalogs that have arrived in the mail since the beginning of the month. It seems that everyone wants me to buy something for Christmas.

I guess they never heard of Father Guido Sarducci’s “Big Christmas/Little Christmas” proposal. Go on, guess which one this year is.

Here’s a representative sample* of the deluge that’s hit my mailbox since the 1st of November:

The Tender Filet — never heard of ’em. Grossly overpriced meat.
Pfaelzer Brothers — ditto.
King Size — Big&Tall — I’m both.
Burgers’ Smokehouse
See’s Candies — Want.
Hickory Farms
Wolferman’s — the best english muffins you’ll ever try.
Savannah’s Candy Kitchen — never heard of ’em.
The Wisconsin Cheeseman — never heard of ’em.
Wine Country Gift Baskets — never heard of ’em.
Harry & David — everyone ought to try their pears at least once.
Nueske’s — more meat.
Shoes XL — yes, I’ve been called “Sasquatch” more than once.
SeaBear Smoked Salmon — never heard of ’em.
Gregory’s — fruits, mainly citrus.
Kansas City Steak Company — never heard of ’em.
Casual Male — more Big&Tall.
World Vision — give a goat.
Despair, Inc. — anyone who works in a cubicle ought to know these guys.
New Braunfels Smokehouse — Texas barbecue.
River Street Sweets — never heard of ’em.
Honeybaked — always wanted to try these guys….
The Swiss Colony — Food items, &c.
King Size — again.
Burgers’ Smokehouse — again.
Wolferman’s — again.
See’s Candies — again. Still want.

I have, in the past, ordered from some of the companies who sent me catalogs. Others, no. And some, as noted above, I’ve never heard of. You might be tempted to think that someone knows I occasionally order from Omaha Steaks.

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* As many as I could hold in one hand. That slick paper is slippery.

Categories: Miscellany
Tags: Black Friday, Christmas, mail, spending