Thus Spake Russ

Posted By Russ Emerson on March 5, 2007 at 9:00 am

 

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In this 154th edition of the Carnival of the Cats, we take particular notice that even though the US presidential elections are well over a year away, there are more candidates of every faction or stripe than one can shake a stick at, running like the polls open next week.
Stupid humans.*
Cats, too, have issues they feel strongly about… though they aren’t quite in such a hurry to be on the hustings. Today, we’ll be examining topics of concern to the feline population, and the various positions cats take on the matters at hand.
Your hostess kitty Mycah, of course, will be taking the role of “back room fatcat.”

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ELECTION PROCEDURES
Elections in the US are typically held on Tuesdays. Torties think this is silly; everyone should know that Tortie Toosday is a better use of the day, as demonstrated at Missy, KC and Bear.
Also with a claim to Tuesdays is Mind of Mog‘s Ritzi, who shows us that Tummy Tuesdays are another great way to use the day.
We human people can forget all about moving our elections to Wednesdays — they’re already spoken for: Widebody, Wacky, White, Whatefer Wednesday, at iInfidel.

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CANDIDATES
On-screen charisma is one of the most useful traits a potential candidate can have. At enrevanche, we get to see Mr. Gato’s screen test. Whatever “it” is, I think he’s got it.
A smart candidate knows when to hold his or her tongue. Griz demonstrates the value of taciturnity, at bobbarama.
Some candidates attempt to hide their true positions. Nicky demonstrates how to do so when necessary, in Who Belongs To This Tail? at Mélange.
Candidates also have to learn how to field all sorts of questions. One could do far worse than to emulate Subbes’ Real Questions Roundup #1 at Catnabbit!
Cato from Creatures of the Earth, who makes no bones about his candidacy, answers a whole lot of questions, many times each.
Cuteness counts, too, when trying to win votes. Tiny has it in spades, at Sisu.

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ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Exclusively at Stereophile: a look behind the scenes as Bagheera chooses a setting to entice younger voters. Meanwhile, Huckleberry seems to be pondering the campaign’s next move.
One might be tempted to think that The White Lion Roars is all about “on the stump” speechifying. One would be wrong… but it’s never wrong to enjoy pics of Aloysius, at Catymology.
Speechifying is, however, the subject of this week’s tale from House of Chaos… though I don’t know if being labelled a “meowling motormouth in the morning” is going to help win any votes.
While out on the trail, it’s important to keep well-groomed. Having a poofy tail can be a major vote-getter, especially if you can get Laurence Simon to film and photograph you.

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CONSTITUENT SERVICES
Cats want to make sure that their elected officials represent them well. In that vein, Alex would like to speak to you, potential candidates. You would be well advised to pay attention, and to visit Texas Oasis.
Once in office, successful felines must conduct themselves appropriately. But as Ruse and Audace (from Momma Grace & Company) make perfectly clear, that doesn’t mean they cannot have Fun in the Office.
When you want to get or to stay on a kittycat’s good side, it never hurts to bring them flowers. Tigger at Val’s Bien certainly seems to enjoy the daffodils.
Human politicians take plenty days off from work, so perhaps we cannot be terribly upset if there’s No Friday Catblog! (“just” a Sunday one) from the gang at Composite Drawlings — especially since, of course, this carnival is a day later than normal.

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HOMELESSNESS
On a serious note, I think we can all agree that every kittycat deserves a good home. If At First You Don’t Succeed… thoughtfully provides some pictures and links of some who need “forever homes”: Charlies. See if you can help.

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FELINE DIPLOMACY
When dealing with others, it helps if you understand their body language. Music and Cats‘ Sasha shows one of the many ways a cat indicates one of its its many moods, in The Language of Ears.
With my own Mycah, all I could manage was a complete failure to communicate. Her communication, on the other hand, is usually rather more successful.

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HOUSEHOLD SECURITY
At The Poor Mouth, Ted multitasks — he keeps a sharp eye out for… something… and takes care of some personal business, in Ted on watch and at wash.
When you make a promise, you have to deliver. KeesKennis‘ Mister Sassy promises and delivers — and has proof in The death of a duster.
Chocolate Chip, though we would never call him a “stoolie,” keeps an eye on the backyard (and on at least one suspicious local character) at The Peach Pit.
Cats don’t need Jack Bauer in person to protect them, not when they can get the gist from A Kitten’s Guide to 24 Series Seven, courtesy of Chris Dolley.

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EDUCATION / “FOR THE KITTENS”
It’s a Baby Watch, at If At First You Don’t Succeed… — drop by and wish mother and babies well!
The next generation is looking pretty good: Hey There, Georgy Girl. Gorgeous girl, I think. Glad to see you, at Pages Turned.
Reading, as they say, is fundamental… unless you’re The Divine Miss Marilyn, that is — in which case books are to be considered obstacles between you and the most important thing: attention from Leslie, of Omnibus fame.
Also from Leslie, a chance to meet and learn about kittycats from near and far away: pictures from a cat show, here and here. Nifty! (I dig those Maine coons.) (I’d better not let Mycah hear me say that.)
Vocational training, perhaps as a contractor or inspector, can open many career paths to an aspiring young cat. Rico Loco gives it a try, at The MisAdventures of Rico Loco.

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LAW & ORDER
Merlin is claimed to be a Bad Jealous Kitty Cat, but I suspect that’s just a cover for his celebrity fixation. Maybe he’s a stalker? Why not check him out yourself, at Bad Kitty Cats.
The crime: furniture clawing. The perpetrator: My Cats Are French‘s Mick. The sentence: well, you Gotta Do What You Can With What You Got. Most cats would think the result just and equitable, I believe.
Investigators must, by nature, be very curious. A So Very Gray Ritzi (aka Psycho Cat) engages in a very thorough round of nose-poker-inner-y at Mind of Mog.

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HEALTHCARE
At Blog d’Elisson, some disapproval of traditional over-the-counter remedies, in The Love Bloat.
The lovely Miss Abby shows the benefits of massage therapy in I Knead You. Those needing a regular dose of Abby (and Ping, Boo, Jinx and Gracie) can get it at Manx Mnews.
A tale of ongoing medical matters, in Miss Scarlett Goes To The Vet, at Mélange. I know everyone will wish the lovely Miss Scarlett well.
Even Maximum Leaders, such as the one found at The Scratching Post, have to know how to be good healthcare providers, as Nurse KT can tell you.
At Elms in the Yard, a healthcare success story featuring the Lady in Red.
A “sugar kitty” sighting: Nosey of anniemiz learns that when blood sugar has to be tested, Just a Squeeze’ll Do Ya. Mycah sympathizes.

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HUNGER, POVERTY
At The Conservative Cat, Ferdy points out an issue of vital importance to all cats, regardless of creed, in A Serious Social Problem.
Via The Egoist, we see that kitties need their roughage — with his excellent table manners, Morris is clearly destined for YouTube stardom.
In a world sometimes sorted into the “Haves” and the “Have-nots,” Kosmo very definitely has a blankie. Be sure to click through to the full story, presented by Scribblings.

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STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
Cats are unanimous on the subject of sleep — it’s a Good Thing. Bows and Eli demonstrate, at Val’s Bien.
Strange Ranger’s Maddie and Ivy would probably make strange bedfellows indeed, even if only accidentally.
There’s nothing strange, though, about the love affair between Grendel and Kako — they’re both adorable, and they obviously love their sleep, at Xenogere.

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And that sums up the current state of feline politics and the issues purtaining thereto.
Mycah (who has been riding me to get this done so I can pay her some attention) hopes that you all have enjoyed this Carnival. I’d like to thank Laurence for coordinating the Carnival every week, and I would very much like to thank everyone who participated.

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* I think I’ve managed to keep human politics out of this. As a very wise man I know once said,

I think that loving your kittycat crosses all lines that might otherwise divide people. No matter where you stand on various issues, if you take good care of your furry friends, I’ll respect you for that much.

Actually, that was me that said that.

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