I was going to watch Obama’s presser today…

Posted By on March 11, 2011 at 4:01 pm

… but then I remembered that I gave up listening to prevaricating douchebags for Lent.

And I’m not even Catholic.


One Response to “I was going to watch Obama’s presser today…”

  1. George Turner says:

    Oh, you didn’t miss much.

    Obama said, “This is a potentially catastrophic disaster and the images of destruction and flooding coming out of Japan are simply heartbreaking.” Thank God it’s not a catastrophe yet, just sort of a proto-catastrophe.

    Elsewhere Joe Biden said: “We, the United States, stand ready to do anything we can to help our Japanese friends as they deal with the aftermath of this tragedy.” Thankfully he didn’t say “little Japanese friends” or launch into a rambling story about how his car dealer is Japanese, or Chinese, or some other such type Oriental person.

    Nothing quite as funny as Hillary’s statement about the nuclear reactor problem. “They have very high engineering standards, but one of their plants came under a lot of stress with the earthquake and didn’t have enough coolant,” she said, “and so Air Force planes were able to deliver that.”

    Cut to a couple F-15’s skidding to a stop outside the plant. The pilots leap from the cockpits and strut toward the reactor complex, each brave aviator holding a gallon jug of water in each hand. Crisis averted. Queue soaring orchestral soundtrack.

    In today’s press conference Jake Tapper asked Obama “Experts say they can’t recall a time when the U.S. ever had to rush assistance to a nuclear power plant in another country before. What can you tell us about how serious this is with the U.S. rushing coolant to Japan because of the nuclear plant there?”

    Hrm… So maybe we’re flying water to Japan, across the Pacific Ocean, on specially modified KC-135 refueling tankers – because they don’t have water there?

    I feel like we’re in the movie “Idiocracy” where the administration is convinced that crops are irrigated with Gatorade.