A Week’s Worth of Twitter Updates

Posted By on April 2, 2012 at 10:00 am

  • Right-o… actually had a pretty good night. I should have gone to bed before it got light out, though. 3 cheers for blackout curtains. #
  • Chores: done. Cats: fed. Legs: worn out. #
  • Among the tasks I managed to get done today, I baked bread. Go ahead, envy me. I don't mind. #
  • I seem to have finally found a variety of canned cat food that both Kismet and Packet adore. Something other than tuna, I mean. #
  • Mmm… kalbi *and* chap chae… Someone stop me, or I'll cook Korean food again. I swear, I'll do it. #
  • RT @IMAO_: The controversy in this country isn't access to birth control. It's access to other people's wallets. #
  • If the Trayvon Martin case were dramatized on "Law & Order": http://t.co/rldJzFmL #
  • If the Trayvon Martin case were dramatized on "Law & Order": http://t.co/rldJzFmL #
  • Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. #
  • Bill Whittle is /en fuego/ here — don't miss it: http://t.co/TgFwxvjZ #
  • My oh my… an actual productive and completely successful work day. I should inform the press. #
  • Why are the conservative SCOTUS justices expected to "broaden their thinking" & vote the other side, but the doctrinaire liberals never are? #
  • Sometimes at work I have to suppress an urge so say out loud, "damn, I'm good." Not often, mind you. #
  • My right leg has been essentially useless for the last 3 weeks. Today, for no apparent reason, some improvement. We'll see…. #
  • Why do I feel like blasting Journey out of every speaker I have right now? #
  • I'd have preferred Dean Martin. // RT @jimmiebjr: Or monkeys. RT @vermontaigne: Sometimes I wish I were roasted by monks. #
  • RT @johnhawkinsrwn: Olbermann Mockery Reaches New Heights On Twitter: The Top 10 Keith Olbermann Was Fired Tweets http://t.co/M0BIk7NY #
  • Wait… I support *what* now? What the $%&@! is a "Blue Coat?" A packet shaper? Look, if it isn't a router, I don't want to hear about it. #
  • For the first time in I don't know how long, I've finished work and am going straight to bed, instead of staying up 'til the crack of dawn. #

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You can just bet…

Posted By on March 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm

You can just bet that right now in Hollywood, at the offices of the tools who produce “Law & Order,” a “Trayvon Martin” script is in the works — ripped, as they say, from the headlines.

But there will be a twist. With L&O, there’s always a twist.

And they invariably twist leftwards.

The prologue: an African immigrant, female, a member of her neighborhood watch, shoots and kills a white teen in suspicious circumstances. She is released by the cops because it was apparently self defense — we’ll pretend that any shooter in New York would be let loose, unprosecuted.

Community outrage ensues; a clearly right-wing radio host — we’ll say his name is “John Sanity” — no resemblance to any actual conservative radio hosts intended, of course — calls her a slut, and goes so far as to give out her address on Twitter — the number is emphasized for the viewers’ benefit.

Cut to the smoldering remains of a house; the camera focuses on the street number of the house as we hear an arson investigator refer to a Molotov cocktail, and five victims named Johansson (or something equally non-African-immigrant, to emphasize the point.) Obviously, the address to which the lynch mob was sent was the wrong address.

Opening credits. Doink doink.

Investigation follows, and after a labyrinthine trail of leads and mistaken arrests, a prototypical skinhead / white-trash / klansman / GOP operative is finally hauled in. Under questioning, he ultimately cops to throwing the Molotov cocktail, but claims he was incited to do so by the radio host.

The detectives seek advice from the lawyers in the District Attorney’s office, and develop a theory of the crime that could pin murder charges on almost any Republican, but especially conservative radio talk show hosts.

Cut to a radio studio; “John Sanity” is shouting racist invective into the microphone. Live, on air, detectives burst into the studio and arrest the host on five counts of murder. One of the detectives makes a witty remark about arson and hot air.

Halftime. Doink doink.

The radio host is arraigned, bailed out, and eventually put on trial; his shady (caucasian, Republican) lawyer (or, given Hollywood’s proclivities these days, maybe an Obviously Jewish Lawyer) uses every trick in the book to get evidence tossed, questions withdrawn, and so on.

The jury — obviously reluctantly — acquits. Radio host “John Sanity” holds a press conference and declares the verdict a victory for the First Amendment.

The DA and his assistant walk away, making regretful remarks about the hate-filled right wing, and wondering when the mass lynchings will begin.

Standard disclaimer about resemblance between the teleplay and any real-world news stories.

Fin.

Forgotten: the shooter, the victim, the Johanssons.

But hey, as long as conservtives can be made out to be the bad guys, it’s all good, right?

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