Thus Spake Russ

Posted By Russ Emerson on February 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Jeremy Clarkson may be best known to Americans as the host of Top Gear, which can be seen on BBC America.
Aside: I’m not a car guy by any means, yet I record and watch Top Gear almost religiously — it’s simply terrific television. Some segments seem to me to be among the best pieces of filmmaking ever produced for television. I am particularly taken with this segment featuring Top Gear co-host James May taking the Bugatti Veyron out for a spin:

I really do think that’s among the best pieces of TV filmmaking ever produced.
OK, back to the point here. Clarkson may be best known for Top Gear, but he made his bones, so to speak, as a journalist, and continues to write a column for the Times of London. If I had to compare him to anyone here in the US, it might be Dave Berry… but Clarkson is, to my way of thinking, a far better writer.
As an added bonus, he is that rarity: an European who actually delights in not being politically correct. That alone makes him worth a read.
In one of my favorite columns, Clarkson addresses the H-bomb of the kitchen, hot sauce, and in the process delivers several shots to one of his favorite targets, the nanny state.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where everything comes with a warning notice. Railings. Vacuum cleaners. Energy drinks. My quad bike has so many stickers warning me of decapitation, death and impalement that they become a nonsensical blur.

The result is simple. We know these labels are drawn up to protect the manufacturer legally, should you decide one day to insert a vacuum-cleaner pipe up your bottom, or to try to remove your eye with a teaspoon. So we ignore them. They are meaningless. One drop at a time! Use extreme caution! On a sauce. Pah. Plainly it was just American lawyer twaddle.

No, it wasn’t twaddle.
Read on, and enjoy: Help, quick — I’ve unscrewed the top on a ticking bomb.

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As a further aside, I’d like to note that my birthday is coming up in three months. If anyone would like to get me a Veyron to mark the occasion, I wouldn’t complain. I believe one can be had for approximately $1.7 million. Three months ought to be enough time, no?

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Addendum: Clarkson would probably disdain and reject the label of “European” — he is English. I’d concur.

Category: Cooking, Humor | Comments Off on Hot Hot Hot
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Posted By Russ Emerson on February 17, 2010 at 11:01 am

It was bound to happen.
While working on the ship model a few days ago, I had to make an urgent run off to the little engineers’ room for an urgent call of nature. Being in something of a rush, I left the model unprotected.
Kismet took advantage of my hurried departure, and in the two or three minutes I was away, managed to chew off the jibboom.
It was bound to happen.
After I was finished decrementing Kismet’s remaining lives from nine to eight, I set about repairing the damage. If I were trying to make a perfect scale replica, I’d trash the part and rebuild it from scratch. However, as this is my first model, and a learning exercise, I opted to graft on a passable replacement.
From squinting distance, no one will ever know. Except me.
I’ve begun the rigging, too. The books all say that a builder ought to work from bow to stern and from the centerline out, so I began with the patched jibboom and bowsprit.

^{Click for larger}
This is tiny work, particularly for one with hands and fingers as large as mine, so most of the time I handle the rigging, I use tweezers. To give you an idea how small we’re talking about here, the round deadeyes seen below are just 5mm, or 1/5″ across.

^{Click for larger}
(Yes, they’re meant to be unevenly spaced. The front three are for the shrouds, the back two are for the backstays.)
Patience, good light, magnification, and a steady hand are all really useful, as is a lack of interruption, particularly of the four-footed furry variety.

Category: Animals, Black Prince | Comments Off on Disaster and Recovery
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