Fashion Observations
Posted By Russ Emerson on July 10, 2004 at 9:44 pm
OK, maybe I’m too much of a hermit. I mean, it’s tempting to stay in front of the computer, but I really ought to get out more often. So I took my Mom to dinner tonight, nothing fancy. Just a country-style buffet place (with steaks!)
But something struck me as odd.
From my observations, I concluded that we have a denim shortage in this country.
What, you might ask, is your evidence?
I saw scores — hundreds, even — of young women strolling around, and their bluejeans simply were not high-rising enough to reach the bottoms of their shirts/blouses. The same applied to the women in denim skirts and shorts. Obviously, I concluded, a market shortage has forced the price of denim so high that clothing makers are skimping.
Then my Mom noted that it’s the fashion these days to bare the midriff. Sigh. Yet another setback for empirical observational science.
Mom – 1; science – 0.
That being the case, I have a purely subjective comment or two to make. To those ladies, girls, and other womenfolk:
1) You look like hookers. Unless you really are a hooker, knock it off.
1a) If you really are a hooker, find some place other than a family restaurant to ply your trade.
2) If your gut sticks out farther in front of you than your boobs do, you might want to rethink the whole bare midriff concept.
2a) It’s just… just… so wrong…
2b) And it’s seriously repulsive — like Spandex at a Jenny Craig newcomers’ night.
3) While it may be marginally tolerable for plumbers to do so, flashing butt-crack is not considered de rigeur, nor is it as attractive as you may think it is.
4) What the heck are you doing with a tattoo on the small of your back?
4a) Is that supposed to mean something?
4b) Do your parents know about this?
Thank you for your attention.