With the anticipated retirement of one or two Supreme Court justices, the discussion this week is naturally revolving around who Bush will nominate to fill the expected vacancy or vacancies.

I know the perfect candidate for the bench, one whose name has not come up in any previous discussion, yet one who nevertheless is perfectly qualified to be on the Court.

Me.

Yes, me. No, I'm not a lawyer, but... so what? There is no requirement that a Supreme Court justice be a lawyer. Indeed, I think having someone on the bench who is not a lawyer would be a much-needed breath of fresh air.

Which still doesn't answer the question, what makes me think I am qualified to sit on the Supreme Court? Two things, really.

   • I have a copy of the Constitution and the Amendments.
   • I can read plain English.

The Constitution was written in plain (but obviously literate) English, and was meant to be understood not only by the comparatively small number of people who have been to law school, but by all of "We the people."

"Make no law" and "shall not be infringed" are supposed to mean exactly what they say.

Two supplementary facts might be mentioned as well:

   • I have a dictionary to help me with the big words, but
   • There are no big words in the Constitution. The biggest words I can find in a quick scan of the Constitution are "representatives," "representation" and "ratification." Maybe there's a bigger word in there, but whatever it is, I'll bet I know its meaning without having to look it up.

My "judicial philosophy" can be summed up as:

   • If the Constitution doesn't address it, neither should the Federal courts.
   • The actual written words and plain meaning of the Constitution and the law always trump "nuance" and "precedent."
   • Scotty couldn't change the laws of physics; judges shouldn't try it, either — pi will never equal 3.
   • The Constitution was written by Americans for Americans. Foreign influences have no place in American jurisprudence.
   • Opinion polls are no basis for interpreting law.

Obviously, my nomination wouldn't stand a chance.

[Yo, Rusty - I got yer fatwa right here.]

Posted by Russ at 11:22 AM, June 27, 2005 in Politics