According to some self-appointed damned silly poltroons environmentalist-type people, if everyone were like me, with my environmental footprint, it would take 12.8 Earths to support the human race.

I imagine that most of it comes down to the fact that I drive a big gas-sucking SUV - always alone. And I eat a lot of meat. And I am the sole occupant of my house. And I am an American.

I had no idea I was such a greedy bastard. Therefore, I shall adopt a new slogan, a new way of life - a new way of looking at environmentalism:

     Earth First! - We'll get around to raping the other planets later.

I'll be burning down the house (with the SUV in the garage), moving to Haiti and converting to veganism... uh... soon. Ya, soon....

Don't hold your breath, unless you're an eco-nazi, in which case, please hold your breath - forever.

(Thanks to Acidman for the pointer.)

UPDATE: Steve at Little Tiny Lies helpfully points out that I left out any mention of guns. While I don't really think they impact the world as much as my SUV does (until I flip out and start shooting the bunnies in my backyard, etc.), they do make me more evil merely by the fact that I own them. Yes, them. Rifles. Shotguns. Pistols. Note that all are mentioned in the plural.

How evil am I now?

(Also, Steve, please note that "TacJammer" might be defined as "one who operates a TacJam.")

Posted by Russ at 09:24 PM, April 23, 2003 in Idiots